Pee in that, will ya?  

Posted by the Writer

As a prerequisite for the Australian student visas, we are required to undergo a medical check-up at nominated clinics in our area. This is what to expect when you do yours. The referral was to Life Care Diagnostic at MCIS Zurich in State.

Idiot Genius and I got to there at about 3.30pm, after 30 minutes of parking spot hunting and bickering.

The reception was lavish and their receptionists in suits. They took my nastiest photo ever (I didn't see it but I'm convinced) because they asked that we expose our ears and at least 70% of our forehead. Mine was 90%. Apparently, for twins, the embassy's requirements are stricter. But if you make an appointment, you can bring in your own (better looking) photos.

The tests that we had to do were the urine, eye, weight, height, blood pressure, x-ray and body check up and they all cost Rm205 per person.


THE URINE DONATION
The criterion was to collect the pee midstream.

I was in the loo and peed a bit then stopped. Inserted cup and continued but nothing more. Little did I know, it was merely a trickle than what I had hoped to be a stream.

I "so desu neh"-ed (a Japanese expression when you understand or realize something). I couldn't deposit because I emptied my account before I left the house... uh, bank.
So I had loads of water and headed for the radiation room.


THE SUPER POWERS ROOM
The room was pretty bare, with the giganto machine in the middle, a secondary torso x-ray machine and a chair by the wall. I had to take off everything up top and put on a gown. Then the technician came in, positioned me and took the picture. Alternately, I think you'd achieve the same results by having someone sit on you. On to trying to pee again!


I PEE AGAIN
I took a hundred more cups of water and stoned, waiting for my kidney to do its job. This time, SUCCESS! Yeah, all that and I peed on my hand. Awesome possum!

Now, as I type this (in the car), I have an urge to pee again.


DOCTOR WHO?
Then I headed to see zee zoctor. He told me my urine test and x-ray shows normality and the check-up (abdomen, breathing, eyes) went well. He'll key in the results on to the embassy's webbie and they would get back to us within 2-3 working days.

Whole thing took a little more than an hour.


I would've took a picture of my pee in a cup but that would've been disgusting. Even for me *giggles*. Although, I am proud to announce that I have healthy coloured pee.

Next challenge: pee in a hotel shampoo bottle!

Writing really simple batch files  

Posted by the Writer

The following is my contribution to society in the field of computing technology... and what I was doing when I ran out of things to do.


Batch files are like little automated drones that do your bidding when opened and exists with the .bat extension. Very basic stuff.

I've recently discovered how useful they are and wrote a couple of them yesterday just to automate things a bit.
The activities I routinely do : End processes, visit my top sites daily, update my log of mp3s and files installed and more recently, a playlist creator.
I've saved that much more time using batch files instead of doing it manually.

I'll give you the simpler one for an example, mmmkay?

Opening your favourite sites with a double click.
This is the command line:

@echo off
start browser.exe www.webbie.com


start = Initiates the program
browser.exe = the program. In this case, browser of your choice. If you choose not to include this line, the sites will open in your default browser.
www.webbie.com = Self-explanatory. If you want to open more than one site, just insert it after the first. Like so, "www.webbie1.com www.webbie2.com www.webbie3.com"

Pretty simple right?

So what you do is copy all that and save it in Notepad with a .bat extension. If "filename.bat.txt" appears, it's still a text file. Add sites and you're done.


But this is pretty useless compared to killing processes so I'm going to incude instructions for that too.

The commands:

@echo off
taskkill.exe /im process.exe /f
taskkill.exe /im process.exe /f
taskkill.exe /im process.exe /f


taskkill.exe = the program used
/im = image name (if you open Task Manager > Processes, you'll see image name on the first tab). This means I've chosen to use its process name to identify the process I want to kill
process.exe = the process to kill
/f = forces the process to close

Copy and save the commands in Notepad as a .bat file and remember to change the process names to ones you know won't screw anything up when you end it. If you're unsure about it, try searching for them on Process List or Process Library.

To read more about what taskkill.exe can do (or any other commands), type "/?" after the command in command prompt.
E.g. taskkill.exe /?, dir /? and defrag.exe /?


As a general precaution, don't download or open any batch files that you aren't familiar with... like duh.
If you want to see what else you can do with command lines, type "help" in command prompt.

It's pretty interesting once you figure out how to use them to make stuff work.

I wuv the Internet  

Posted by the Writer

The Internet is wonderful. You can google stuff, research insurance online, look at pRon... golly! Also also, serials to the wondrous world of free apps! Yes but those are a bit scary what with all the viruses and trojans. Anyhow, I'm a bit distracted now because Nicole's over, fretting about her woes. Kinda like, if your boyfriend and your father drowns, who would you save sort of thing.

SP - Disability income insurance  

Posted by the Writer

Disability income insurance comes to mind when I think of old T-Bag (from Prison Break). It's for people who can't go to work after an accident or illness. Poor man got his hand chopped off by John. How he didn't get an infection after all that, I don't know. Well, obviously he's not really disabled because he can still kill people with one hand but that was my first recall.
Come to think of it, I don't know if bad guys qualify for insurance. And him being a fugitive, no less.

This was brought to you by Wholesale Insurance.

What's a girl to do  

Posted by the Writer

... when she can't open that jar of jam?

I had the misfortune of coming up against a very stubborn jam jar because I craved PB&Js.

I tried heating the cap so it'll expand but it didn't work. I also tied rubber bands around the cap but it was too narrow and kept slipping off. Once or twice, I wanted to throw the damn thing at the wall.
Exhausting what limited primitive methods I know on opening stubborn jars, I thought of Wendy's; deliciously instant food which requires no jar opening.

I think I bruised myself trying to pry the effing thing open.

Where's a handy dandy jar opening contraption when you need one?!

And in case you were wondering, I settled for fried rice. I'll try my luck again in a couple more hours while I recuperate from the physical and mental trauma.

Goblins in our blood! Aaahhhh!  

Posted by the Writer

One word I tend to have a hard time pronouncing is "hemoglobin".
I'd say "hemogoblin".



And Merry Christmas. Someone shoot Santa.

Look at me, all entrepreneur like  

Posted by the Writer

Inspired by the mind-numbingly slow speeds of Rapidshare which prompted a very desperate me to buy a 3 day Premium package which really made no huge difference, I've thought of another way to get completed torrents faster.

I've been thinking about a COD sort of thing where people exchange torrents (when I say "torrents", I really mean completed files downloaded from torrents) rather than goods. Instead of COD (cash on delivery), it's TOD (torrents on delivery) or DOD (data on delivery) lor. I try so hard with these labels, don't I?

This torrent exchange idea is basically bartering. You do it for the torrents you want, which may include games, apps, movies, tv shows, music and etc, and in return, you give someone else the torrents they want.
It's illegal on so many levels, I know.

People would come to a common virtual meeting point; I.E. a website/forum, list their collection of torrents and update them three times a week (ideally with an automated tool), others search for torrents they want and if you have what they want and they have what you want, you can meet up at a Starbucks and do the transfer in person, any way you like; DVDs or on-site transfer and etc.

The whole point of this is to eliminate the step of downloading something you can get from someone else in person, thereby reducing bandwidth usage. Ergo, faster internet speeds for all. Provided Streamyx doesn't slyly cap our speeds further.

One difference about this is the face-to-face factor, seeing as huge files are needed to be transferred instead of tiny ones. If you're nice people, you might just hit if off and become friends. If you feel like you want to bite that person's head off that particular morning, you can just do the transfer and get going.

Of course, safety issues will arise for girls... and little boys. Perhaps some guidelines can be set? "Exchanges should be made in the daytime and in places where it's not just you and me"; how about that? And "you are liable and agree to indemnify the Middle Man (which is the site) of all responsibility, for any monetary and/or materialistic damages, physical and/or mental harm you may suffer during exchanges outside these proposed guidelines".

Of course things have to be hush-hush when you're transferring them torrents. Don't want to get caught, do you? Who am I kidding? It's Malaysia.

Pretty good idea, right?


Now that it's in writing, this idea is COPYRIGHTED ya. I get 70years (or was it 40?) to this right and if you are in any way a little more than decent, you'd come talk to me about a business proposal or licensing rights *chuckle chuckle*.

By the way, does anybody have the full seasons (1 and 2) of The Big Bang Theory?

We need floor chairs in Malaysia  

Posted by the Writer

Back in Japan, I had the honour of sitting on a floor chair. Not just any chair, a very special chair *grin*. I'd never seen one until that point.

Now back home, I thought it might be nice to have one in Aussie-land. I looked online for the chair but it was tough since I didn't really know what to call it. "Adjustable recliner", "adjustable lounge chair", "adjustable folding recliner floor chair" and etc. The keyword was "floor chair" and I found it. It doesn't look exactly like the one I sat my ass on but it's similar.


Source

Great for home theater, gaming and general stuff on the floor.

I just wish they had more padding for the cushion and the back. And more curves. Gotta keep looking.

That time of month  

Posted by the Writer

A dry spell seems to have been casted over me blog 'ere. I can't for me life think of anythin' to write abou' other than this 'ere dry spell, see?

Then while I was shoppin' with me mummy, I wondered, "What are the little snowflakes in snow globes made of"? A little research 'ere and there shows that them snowflakes are mainly made from tiny plastic pieces. A long long time ago, they were made from bone chips.

And uh, I thought the hot scrawny doctor in season 1 of Prison Break died because she turned all grey and dead and judging by the reaction of the officers that broke in - more like lack of - she was pretty much dead. But as things would turn out, our hot little doc here lived to see another day and gets tortured by Secret Agents. Awesome!
I think I'm ready for Seasons 3 and 4 now. Teehee.

And apparently, in Australia, you can get served on Facebook if traditional means fail.

Grumpy  

Posted by the Writer

No cheesecake makes me just that.

My previous posts have all been negative leh. I'm either attacking someone or getting pissed off at everybody.

But the cavalry is coming. Tonight!

The Facebook Blackout  

Posted by the Writer

Have you heard of the FACEBOOK BLACKOUT?

Facebook blackout desc

So what if you stayed off Facebook for a day? What's it going to do?
It may be the first of many to come, but you have to ask yourselves if its cause is still something you believe in, months down the road.

Sure, their new layout wasn't very appealing when they first launched it (the objective was to make the workspace more efficient, that's why they made tabs) but you've gotten used to it by now right?

Face it (pun totally intended), you need Facebook. If you didn't need it, you wouldn't bother joining or creating (this one's for you, Boris) this group or groups similar to it, you wouldn't bother superpoking each other , you wouldn't bother participating in genocides against zombies and elves*, and you definitely wouldn't bother updating your status with stupid messages like "XXX is sleeping", "XXX is eating dinner" and "XXX is playing with a cow's udder".

The Facebook people are going to sit in their comfy (and fancy) chairs and laugh at you! I imagine that their office environment is similar to that of Google.
Then it'll be my turn to snort at you.


For all intents and purposes, I'm not talking to you people who join the group for fun *shudders*.
This one's for you: "Join a better group". Perhaps one that supports the legalization of pot.



xoxo,
Ps. I'm sorry that my joke had to be at the expense of cows. I truly am. Bless the cows and their udders!


*I say this with no knowledge of what Elven Blood is. It's just there to give that sentence the punch it needs. But if you really do kill Elves in the game, then I've got my point across, yeah? Murderer.

SP - Research Diet Pills  

Posted by the Writer

Ever wondered which diet pill works best? It's side effects? Whether it was safe to consume?

Well, you can find the best diet pills at researchdietpills.com.
This site provides you reviews and feedbacks from customers to help you make an informed decision. They also give you product facts and the best online prices. Pretty convenient.
But of course, you shouldn't depend on that site alone. Remember to always get a second opinion.

This was brought to you by Research Diet Pills.

Going cold turkey  

Posted by the Writer

Doood. I haven't had cheesecake in 3 months.
I miss the taste of cheese-rich cheese and the sweet sweet bliss that comes with it. And then there's the nausea that comes after when you've had too much. Le sigh.

I'm laying off the LOLs and LMAOs  

Posted by the Writer

Despite my feeble attempts at non-conformity -- thwarted by my refusal to stand out, no less -- I am, once again, taking a step away from the common person.

Usually, I try not to use Emoticons and shortened expressions that much, like :D, :), xD, lol, lmao and etc. Sometimes, I find that these shorthands don't accurately describe how I feel at that moment. If someone tells me a blonde joke and the only thing I could muster was a chuckle, I don't go all "lol!!" on lousy-joke-person, because c'mon, blonde jokes are so old. I might put a *chuckle* there, but sometimes, the jokes not funny enough for me to bring my fingers to punch those letters in. Sure, a "haha" would suffice, but what does a "haha" really mean?? Is it a laugh or is it a chuckle? Or maybe, it's a dry laugh just so to humour lousy-joke-person.

And then there are those people who just put a "haha" after your what's-there-to-haha-about-sentence.

"so I met my ex and his new gf today"
"haha"

"her cooking sucked real bad"
"haha"

"i flirted with a hobo"
"haha"

"i swallowed a kitten"
"haha"


The word's been used so much that it's becoming insincere. In my book. And trust me, there are a few words that I feel are becoming more and more insincere.
Sure, I use it, that's cause I'm lazy to c.h.u.c.k.l.e. Do you know how many letters are there in that word?! Okay, in your defence, you're lazy too.
Please, I'm multi-faceted.

I'm just saying, if you're conscious and not too engrossed in the unimportant conversation you have going with your BFF, try to cut down on your LOLs and HAHAs. Maybe then, when you read the transcripts, it won't seem so flat and look like every other conversation you have.

I shall reserve my LOLs and LMAOs for situations where they would be used as adjectives.

Maybe, next time, I could do a COL (chuckling out loud) instead of an LOL because your joke deserved nothing higher than a chuckle. I like to be specific.


And OMG Lily Bass had an abortion!

I love Fall  

Posted by the Writer

Yep, Hakone was pretty cold mid-November.

Hakone, Japan

Hakone, Japan

Hakone, Japan

Hakone, Japan


The Sarubobo (an amulet)

Hakone, Japan
Step one: Stuff cotton into cloth

Hakone, Japan
Step two: Sew head onto the creepy thing

Hakone, Japan
Voila. The creepy thing.
Imagine, it looking up at you in the slowest of motions... it smiles, lifting its pointed arm to wave at you. It laughs maniacally.

Hakone, Japan

Hakone, Japan

Hakone, Japan

Hakone, Japan

Hakone, Japan

Hakone, Japan

Hakone, Japan


I sorta... wanna... buy some really cheap tees ($7 off shipping and an extra $3 off for a coupon) but that would require me to use the credit card. Read: Mum. What would she say?!
Don't.Like.This.Predicament.

Gossip Girl Marathon  

Posted by the Writer

I've been watching Gossip Girl since last night, courtesy of Lesbo.
It.Is.Such.A.Soap.Opera. Can you say, 'guilty pleasure'?

And the plot of Serena 'killing' (more like 'causing the death of') that guy sort of appeared in my dreams or some shit because it looked really familiar. Which brings me to Georgina Sparks. She is SUCH A BITCH! It's a amazing what you're capable of when you have truck loads of cash to burn and a sociopathic mind. But I really liked how the friendship between the rich brats were shown, even if it did take a while for some of them to realize. I also liked how they adapted scenes from Audrey Hepburn movies as their opening act.

The series felt a wee bit familiar, reminiscent of a certain Veronica Mars, but the only thing in common I found was that two of GG's directors were VM alumni.

Anyhoo, it's back to the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.

SP - Auto insurance  

Posted by the Writer

You know that you must have auto insurance for every car you purchase right? Without it, it is illegal to drive it around? Yes? No? Honestly, I don't know jack about insurance. There are too many clauses and terms to be aware of and I assure you, after reading a page, I would eventually start to lose focus, rereading the sentence. But know this, insurance and cars go together.

This was brought to you by 2insure4less.

Don't starve yourself  

Posted by the Writer

Many a nights, I've felt hungry but didn't want to eat because I thought it wasn't healthy. I'd rather go through the discomfort than satisfy my pangs. I was stupid.

Tonight, I was particularly hungry and I've finally matched Nicole's score of having two suppers in one night. The second meal was great - curry flavoured instant noodles. Nothing like the taste of unhealthy-but-oh-so-delicious seasoning on your tongue. How delightful.

Speaking of food, I've compiled four recipes to sustain myself in Perth. Four recipes that are yummy and manageable without me burning something... not that I've tried making them or anything. Fried rice, fried kuey teow, pancakes and bruschettas. Actually, make that six; I forgot, sandwiches and salads.

Oh, I just realized I could live on much more. PB&Js, cereals, carrots and celery sticks... *chuckle*

Odaiba, Japan  

Posted by the Writer

A few more posts on Japan and I'm done.


Odaiba, Japan

Odaiba, Japan

Odaiba, Japan
The Japanese sure love their Red and White.
A word of advice. Don't pick the transparent gondola on a bright sunny day.

Odaiba, Japan

Odaiba, Japan

Odaiba, Japan

Not making any progress  

Posted by the Writer

... with pictures from Japan. I seem to be able to edit only three pictures before feeling exhausted.

Oy. Me pimple-like-thing is killing me.

Motomachi & Harbor View Park, Japan  

Posted by the Writer

That day began with us walking an almost gruesome UPHILL path, pass the Foreigner's Cemetery to Motomachi Park where you can find artists and really nice looking architectures.

Yamatecho, Japan


Motomachi Park, Japan


Then it was Harbor View Park, like it's name says, you can see the Harbor. Duh.

Harbor View Park, Japan
Our welcoming committee.
Those cats are enjoying life. Unlike their Malaysian counterparts. I saw 2 dead cats and 4 dead rats today.


Harbor View Park, Japan


Harbor View Park, Japan
This cat was fat. And angry.
I saw feathers on the ground so I think the cat might've ate them birds.


Harbor View Park, Japan


It was all the way downhill after that, pass the residential area, popular amongst foreigners.

Yamatecho, Japan


And we come to a guesthouse where the Japanese hire a fake priest and do a fake Western wedding just for the heck of it.

Yamashitacho, Japan


Then we go home...

Ishikawacho, Japan


and burn scented candles on very expensive plates.

Burning Candles On Expensive Plates

Kitchen Sinks  

Posted by the Writer

I wonder how it feels like to bath in a sink...



Are the kitchen sinks in your home like this?

Source

Or like this?

Source


If it's the former, then you should consider installing a bigger one instead. Yes, you'd probably have to hammer a bigger hole onto your counter and all, but it's going to be a more comfortable wash every night with a bigger sink. Get one, preferably, big enough to wash a Toy Dog in. That would be awesome.


This was brought to you by Kitchen Sink Outlet.

Email Subcription  

Posted by the Writer

So my OLD email subscription is dead. Now I've got a new one.
I think it got screwed up by the XML of Blogger's Layout.

Anyhoo, go on and subscribe because you know you wanna.